Powerful Email Copywriting  

Stop being drowned out by loud men and get YOUR view recognised

email copywriting example

This email is a great example of many of the things you need to do in an email to increase your response rate. You can click on the image for a larger view.

Firstly, the subject line, the one that appears in your inbox is intriguing, powerful, and bold. It tells you what the email is about.

"Stop being drowned out by loud men and get YOUR view recognised"

If you see it, you just have to open the email and read more, and that’s exactly the subject line’s job – to get you to open the email. (Click image to see full email.)

Next the headline of the email continues to tell you what the email is about “Powerful Communication Skills for Women."

And the tag line tells you who it’s for, and what you’ll get out of it

"Designed for the woman of today eager to reap the career benefits that come to those who know how to communicate effectively and diplomatically"

Note that this is also what will appear first in the preview pane of a recipients email browser.

So in three short sentences a very direct and powerful message has already been communicated.  If you’re a woman who wants to advance her career, you’re compelled to read even further.

(Why it was sent to me I don’t know, but that’s another story.)

WIIFM – What’s In It for Me?

The next two paragraphs build up the seminar; tell you how long it is and more of what it is about.

Then there are a whole list of bullet points telling you what you’ll learn and what you’ll discover.

Basically the benefits, what you’ll get out of it, or WIIFM: What’s In It For Me? And from the look of the length of the list, quite a lot.

Also notice that each point is clear and to the point, spelling out the specific value of each point.

Then there’s more copy and even more bullet points.

Another thing to note is that the copy is made more visually interesting by bolding certain phrases. This is a classic direct marketing trick.

Make Emails Look Real and Personal

There are also pictures of people, whether or not these are real people as opposed to models I can’t say, but at least there is a picture of the actual presenter of the seminar and a bio.

This makes the email seem real and personal: IE: It’s from an actual human being.

One last point is the design of the email looks more like an actual letter than an advertising brochure or flyer. It’s not overly designed. Again this is a tried and tested way of getting better response – make it look like a personal communication.

Things I’d Change

The overall length is a bit too long for my taste; I think they may be overdoing it with some of the copy, however, as a general rule long copy usually outperforms short copy.  But really copy length is something you should all test for yourself to see what gets the best response.

The “call to action” isn’t very bold and is quite a way down in the copy. I’d have several “calls to action” throughout the email, and also make them more prominent with a button or arrow or something.

If the pics are stock pics, I’d change them to real ones of your own staff or even customers.

What You Can Learn

If I were you, I’d download it and print this email out and stick on your office wall somewhere, and then study it every time you have to send out an email or write a marketing piece.  Look at what they have done, how they’ve done it and then see if you can apply those lessons to your own emails.

Key Points

  • Create a subject line that will make people want to read more
  • Tell them what it’s about in the preview pane
  • Address the WIIFM
  • List the benefits in bullet points
  • Make it look real
  • Make it personal
  • Make it look like a letter
  • Long copy works
  • Use real people in photos
  • Use obvious “Calls to Action”
  • Give them all the details

Need Content marketing and copywriting that gets results.

We've helped people sell everything from gold to live fish – fluffy slippers to booty boosting underwear.

If you want tangible, bankable results from your copy or content, give us a call - 0411 353 693.


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